So what do you do about an arrogant wife? Well, let's talk about what this reflects, how it impacts you and then what can you do about it. What it really reflects arrogance is a super defense mechanism and we know that. Humility is a quality that we see in the great ones. They never talk about themselves as being great. God doesn't talk about himself as being great or herself as being great because the higher we go what it really means is that we're leaving our ego behind. We're
leaving behind the identification of ourselves as a vulnerable animal because a human being is really a soul, very advanced, very high that's what we are essential.
We're essentially souls and we have a body and we have a mind but we get trapped in our mind and the reason we get trapped in our mind it's so compelling is because of
this drive to survive that's in the body constantly sending messages to the mind, you have to protect me, you have to protect me. And so, that manifests in very different
ways.
Arrogance is a perception that we have of the other person so what's really going on, because now I'm talking about you, what's really going on is her arrogance is stepping on
the toes of your arrogance. It's kind of how dare she sees herself in this light and behaves in this way especially towards me. It's all about defensiveness so the reality is you cannot do anything about her except to love her. You can love your wife which is what you promise
to do in spite of her flaws and this is a flaw.
As you categorize flaws this is not really high up there, is it? Your job you might say is to love your wife unconditionally that's your job. You expect that from her to love you
unconditionally, why shouldn't it be true about you? If you do that you can step over these flaws they're like pebbles in the way of your love they're not that big a deal. You don't have to do anything about her arrogance. You don't have to handle anything about her but you do
need to look at yourself and you do need to recognize that this is a problem that you are having not with her but with your own ability to see past how it's affecting you.
You know what I'm saying is true and let's recap. One, there's nothing you can do to change another human being. You have trouble changing yourself.
How many times have you resolved to do something differently to break a habit and you couldn't do it?
It's hard enough to try and change another person, now that's arrogant. It's also impossible because your wife has free will and you're supposed to respect that and if she doesn't respect yours in her arrogance it's your job to just not worry about it so that's the key. Truly, what is happening here is not that her arrogance is impacting you but it's how you are perceiving her arrogance and allowing it to impose upon you. It's the trick, it's really very simple and it's not merely philosophical if you try this.
So what gets in the way of trying this is our reactive mind as soon as you start feeling her arrogance or some behavior that's triggering you don't react, stop and instead of
looking at her and being critical of her saying, "Whoa, why should I care?" Why? Why should I care? She is lovely in so many ways, why should I be impacted by this. And you will find that if you do this you'll be successful it'll shift your attention from her flaws to yours -- you'll do much better. I hope this is helpful to you.
#marriageproblems #arrogant #anger #angermanagement #angermngt #maritalproblems
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